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Dinner Rituals and Reflections
Dinner Rituals and Reflections
As I minced the basil and tomatoes fixing to toss them in the mix of squash and mushrooms sautéing on the stove, I began to ponder the many rituals of dinner. Dinner was and is my favorite meal as this is the time when the family crawls in from their weary day ready to chat and laugh and eat. Well, at least that is always how it was and is with my family. When my daughters were still living with me, no matter how late in the evening, dinner was sacred and roll call was taken. Absences were ill tolerated and therefore rarely happened. This was not accomplished through threats and defaming rather it was the ritual itself that quelled objections. The dinner ritual became the fortress against the world where we could defuse the harsh demands of modern life. Light candles, put on soft music, prepare and break bread over good old fashion conversation.
The dinner ritual began when I was a child--I would race in asking what was on the menu. I loved to eat in those days, a habit I have continued. I relished the telling of tales and laughter that floated through the air. There was a real sense of belonging. We never ate in front of a television or separately--if one of us in the family was delayed--dinner was as well. Dinner was where you spilled your guts over happy/sad events of the day. It was in a way a conflict resolution forum. Airing grievances over meatloaf and mashed potatoes was easier that a mere conversation in the hallway.
As a single mom, I insisted on keeping the dinner rituals as a way of unifying the family, however small or large it was at that particular time. Misfit friends often supped with the girls and I marveling at the fact we actually ate together-- every night. When asked about their personal family dinner traditions, often they would lament that there were none.
The dinner ritual had a sense of collaboration. As the girls got older they became proficient sous chefs, table decorators, and meal planners. Often we wouldn't sit down to eat until after nine (the European style I suppose) when all the outside activities; dance, theatre, soccer, or whatever had ended. But there was always a feeling of "ahhh" a sense of renewal. Savoring these moments, both of my daughters are ardent keepers of the sacramental meal. When we are re-united the sentiment is the same--one chops, one sets, all clean. My new husband (who grew up deprived of dinner rituals) has fallen in tow and we too never eat in front of a machine. Rather we sip our wine and beer, then plop down to converse while stuffing our faces.
With the barrage of distractions, honoring dinner rituals is declaring war on technology. Shut off any semblance of a screen light some candles and sit down to a meal together. Ease family tensions away with even the simplest of meals; soup and salads or home cooked burritos or pasta--reinvent your personal cuisine. My new favorite is Indian recipes. Tune the world out and say yes to an age old tradition of breaking bread with those you love!
Where Have All the Daydreams Gone?
Where Have all the Day Dreams Gone?
Sitting in a window seat of a packed café in Sonoma (Norcal)—I glanced around noticing the young mother with a baby bundled in pink—its little fur shoes bobbing up and down, to her left was a chiseled chin man in a black overcoat clutching his briefcase, and to the right a teenager huddled away from an old man with a cane. No one was speaking—the drone of the espresso machine brought me back to Italy where I had visited a few years back. Italians are talkers! Everyone, except the older man with the cane and myself, had either headphones or some sort of device plugged into their ears—their minds and imaginations prisoners of technology. Like the old Peter Paul & Mary song, Where Have All the Flowers Gone, I wondered Where did all the daydreams drift? As we whirl about in our busy schedules, there is little time for daydreaming. Daydreams are reflections of our passion and creativity. Mp3 players, Ipods, cell phones, mini televisions the size of your pinky toe nail, and itsy bitsy computers have robbed and muted this innate and healthy form of escape and problem solving.
Daydreaming entices the mind to wander, (it has been scientifically proven if you don’t believe me Google it). Daydreams help us relax the analytical brain and allow the creative self to see things from a different vista point. Daydreaming takes your cooped up mind for a walk. As a writer, daydreaming is part of my job. Heck it was a daydream that prompted this piece. Had I been listening to music or working on my computer thoughts and scenarios would have snuck past me like a tip toeing burglar robbing me blind. Daydreams can be useful counselors helping you sort out difficulties. How? By letting the mind relax, deflect fear, and visualize innovative solutions
Daydreams remind us who we are. They tap us on the shoulder and show us images we can either disregard (the negative ones) or embed (the positive ones) soaking our psychic with affirmations. Daydreams help us manifest our desires. As children, daydreaming comes naturally; one of my personal favorites was picturing myself as a famous dancer. Martha Graham had nothing on me when I was starring in my own daydream. Although I may not be a famous dancer, I do teach and dance African, Haitian, and Brazilian styles of dance. I literally became my daydream performing and adoring the joys of dancing.
Daydreams unlock our imagination, which for many of us is as rusty as an old bicycle that has been left out in the rain for years. Daydreaming is a potent catalyst to creativity. My first children’s book, Frederick the Forgetful Rattler was born from a walk in the woods and a humorous daydream I see (and hear) many people now, even when in nature, stuffing their ears with music or a chat (over nothing) on the cell phone. Just the other day strolling down Sonoma’s peaceful bike path (the red winged blackbirds were in a full concerto) I had a woman come up behind me discussing her boyfriend’s sexual dysfunction! Sadly my daydreams took flight, fearing for their lives.
Speaking of nature—I may sound Ralph Waldo-ish but please, Mother Nature offers a plethora of melodies without a download fee. Listening to the wind whistle through the leaves or the babbling of a stream soothes my nerves and makes me feel connected once again to the earth. How many of us find that when listening to the swooshing sounds of waves on the sand a sense of tranquility drapes around us? A natural relaxant.
Back to the cafe, the older gentleman and I dropped into a marvelous conversation about how things have changed (Did I mention I am part Italian). He was the last of his family to survive a WWII camp and had one fascianting sentence after the other. He was the source of my daydream on the way home and the inspiration for this blog. We were basically having a private conversation as everyone else was tuned out. Wake up—unplug—let your mind plunge into a warm memory that makes you smile or relax or recalls your strength—Daydream about the book you will write or the vacation you will have or the countries you will visit while dressed up as a clown spreading laughter to children the world over. Whatever your daydream is indulge it—you can Twitter about it later.
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